The Toxic Phrase We Need to Stop Saying Around the Holidays

The day after Halloween, a fitness instructor's comment during a class struck a nerve: "Let’s work off all that Halloween candy!" While seemingly harmless, experts say this common phrase, "let's work off ____," can be seriously problematic, especially during the holidays.

This mentality—the idea that you must earn treats through exercise—needs to stop. Here's why, plus advice on how to feel good in your body instead.

Undermining the Real Benefits of Exercise

For many, exercise isn't about burning calories. It's about strengthening the body, connecting with friends, and feeling good. Emmie Keefe, a nutritionist in Boston, believes that focusing on calorie-based motivation backfires.

"We should never exercise for the sake of burning calories," Keefe explains. "We should exercise for cardiovascular, mental, and emotional health. It gives structure to your day, and you can create social relationships through classes. There are so many reasons to exercise, and burning calories shouldn’t be one of them."

Recent research has demonstrated that regular exercise improves longevity, even more than weight loss. Exercise can also alleviate anxiety and depression, boost creativity, and improve sleep. Viewing exercise as punishment, rather than a beneficial activity, makes people less likely to engage in it.

Keefe also notes that obsessively counting calories related to food and exercise isn’t always realistic or helpful. Regular exercise can instead boost motivation in other areas of life and create a sense of productivity.

"That walk and workout class is not going to burn off what you ate right before," she says. "That way of thinking is big, big trouble."

Promoting Harmful Eating Habits

How do you feel when you're about to enjoy a holiday-exclusive pumpkin pie? Hopefully, excited—and nothing else. Alyssa Royse, owner of Rocket Community Fitness in Seattle, believes the mindset that you have to deserve that pie, or undo the damage, is "really dangerous."

"It links us to this idea that we have to earn the right to eat and have to earn the right to have pleasure. Both of those things are innate in simply having a body. By virtue of being alive, you are allowed [both]," she explains.

Royse adds, "When we moralize food, we trigger all sorts of dangerous thoughts and behavior patterns," including eating disorders. These can lead to long-term health complications such as heart damage, hair growth issues, brain damage, and lethargy.

Instead of creating negative connections, trainers at her gym avoid mentioning food. If the holidays come up, they focus on positive aspects, encouraging clients to "go have fun and enjoy the bounty, go feel the joy... that’s the primary purpose of your body—to experience joy."

Royse notes that people already have damaging thoughts around the holidays due to toxic messaging in the media pushing them to be thinner. She encourages clients to challenge these connections and move toward body and food neutrality.

"Food doesn’t need to be an emotional or moral experience. You are allowed to just have it," she says.

Keefe adds that shaming yourself for what you ate can have physical consequences. Stress hormones released through that thought pattern can cause stomach pains and digestive problems, along with headaches and heart palpitations.

"You’re really making yourself suffer twice," she says, emphasizing the importance of enjoying food and moving on.

Listen to Your Body

Both experts believe it’s necessary to tune into your body instead of letting outside forces influence how you feel, especially during the holidays. This process, also known as mindful eating, involves paying close attention to your food, noticing its taste and how enjoyable it is to eat. It also means listening to your natural hunger and fullness cues. Food is not something you’ve "earned," and there is no expectation that you need to "work it off."

Royse drinks more water (one glass per holiday cocktail) and takes more walks, not as punishment, but to counteract any physical discomfort.

Keefe enjoys holiday foods while prioritizing nutrition, choosing fruits and vegetables when possible. She notes that the holidays don’t necessarily mean you have to only eat rich foods or only stick to the veggie tray. She has also seen clients make themselves sick trying to preemptively offset the holidays’ physical impact.

"They exhaust themselves with exercise in anticipation or in reaction to how they’ve eaten during the holidays. Their overall health declines, and their bodies are under enormous stress," she says. "Treat your body kindly."